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Absence doesn’t necessarily make the heart grow fonder

Dear Bunmi,

My fiancé and I hope to get married soon, but haven’t set the date. We’ve done the traditional engagement, but he wants us to get enough stuffs for the flat before marriage.

I am on the pill, but I would rather have kids when I’m young enough to cope.  I am 25 and he is 30, and we have fairly well-paid jobs.

Do you think getting pregnant would hasten his commitment?  I could go off the pill without telling him.

Fatima, by e-mail.

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Dear Fatima,

You are better off discussing how you feel with your partner instead of tricking him into putting your marriage date forward.  Both of you might want to make some sacrifices like settling for a modest wedding.

Whatever stuffs you’ll need for the flat could be bought as the means arise.  But believe me, taking care of a baby doesn’t come cheap!

Whatever you do, put a date to your proposed wedding.  That would take your mind off the anxiety of the possibility of his not committing to you

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